Sept. 2, 2008: Ok, so I am trying something new. I am going to keep quiet about what Dennis and I are up to. It is going to be a difficult challenge, but I am up for it. I have to keep my mouth shut for three months! Three months? Yes, I can do it. My Dad used to say "you can telephone, telegraph, or tell-a-Krista". Not anymore. My lips are sealed.
Dennis and I do not want to ginx this baby-making-thing this go round so we're going to wait until 12 weeks to spill the beans. So, I will be confiding only in my blog until that day comes. Lucky you, oh Bloggo. I am telling everyone that it will be "several months" till we get to try again. I love it - the drama! The excitement!
Sept. 4, 2008: Taking estrogen now through just about every orphus possible. And I'm wearing estrogen patches. Gotta love it. I told the nurse that I'm feeling especially moody, tired, and I've definitely put on a few lb's. She said not to worry, that those three things are the most common side effects. FANtastic.
Sept. 8th, 2008: Spoke with the nurse today and we are doing the transfer tomorrow at 10:30 am. I am excited. I feel like I need to drink a lot of wine or beer or a keg since it'll (hopefully) be many months before I can do that again. It is sorta like my last meal in a weird way. Oh, and the nurse told me that they will either implant two or three. Dennis had to sit down when I said "or three". Dennis & Krista Plus three.
Sept. 9th, 2008: We were all ready to do the transfer and they pulled up a picture from the lab of three "beautiful" embryos. The conversation went back and f
orth between us, our MD and the embryo specialist (not sure of his exact title), for about 10 minutes as we considered implanting two or three. I guess at this stage, after two days, the chances that all three embryos would make it wasn't really high. But, you never know. So, we would probably want to implant three since (most likely) not all three would take and we wanted to get atleast one pregnancy out of this. But, that also meant that we could have three - yes, three - embryos develop and grow into little babies. Plus, it is not too uncommon for an embryo to split, resulting in idential twins. So we could have four babies from this whole transaction. Dennis & Krista Plus four.
We decided to wait until Friday to see which embryos appear to have the most promise. Then we can implant two of the best looking embryos and feel much better about our possibilities of getting pregnant with one - or two, max - babies.
I am now going to have a margarita. Or ten.
Sept. 12, 2008: Well, we did it! We are officially preggo! These two little cuties were implanted near each other so that they can start getting to know each other right away. The nurse told me she thinks that one is a boy and one is a girl. They both look like boys to me.
Sept. 20, 2008: Just went to the store to buy beer and a pregnancy test. The beer is obviously for Dennis and the test is for me. It would be nice if the pregnancy-test-makers would package them in bulk - and I mean BULK -
at least in boxes of 20. Not just "buy 2 and get 1 free".
And yes, I know, I know, I know that it is too early to necessarily feel pregnant but it is concerning to me that I've been feeling "normal" the last few days. The home pregnancy test results came back positive so I can relax a little bit. Maybe.
Sept. 24, 2008: The relaxing continues... atleast for now. I went in for blood work on Monday and then again today and the good news is that my results suggest that the pregnancy is moving forward and progressing as expected. My beta levels, estrodial, and progesterone levels were good - - and my beta level almost doubled from Monday to today, which is a very good sign. I guess the beta level is the key measure of how things are going. It should keep going up and up and up.
I was especially nervous because I had some spotting a few days after the IVF transfer and then more spotting a few days after that. Since I have had that bleeding, I'm not allowed to work out. So I am being a total bum these days but an excited bum, none-the-less.
Sept. 27, 2008: More spotting. Great. It makes me so nervous and so scared - - especially since I do not get to go in until Wednesday to get my blood drawn again. Trying to be patient sucks! Dennis told me not to worry because it is out of our hands. He is right, but... it is still hard!
October 3, 2008: We're going in for our first ultrasound next Monday instead of Wednesday because of the spoting that I've continued to experience. I am hopeful that we have one strong heartbeat that shows up...but what if we have two? Or more?
I've been overly emotional (which is hard to imagine, I know, poor Dennis), my boobs got in the way at golf lessons last night (lucky Dennis), and I feel sick, which are all hopefully good signs. I never thought that I would say, "I am so glad that I feel sick" but those words actually came out of my mouth several times this past week. I think we are technically 5 weeks as of today.
October 6, 2008: We had our first photo shoot today. But, it wasn't without drama. We went in, I had my blood drawn, and while we were waiting for the ultrasound tech to come get us, I went to the restroom. I came out crying, sure that I had just miscarried. There was a lot of blood.
Dennis tried to help me be positive and to just wait to see the results of the ultrasound.
Well, just when I had given up all hope, we were informed that everything is OK. After seeing one heartbeat, the tech said, "wait...I think I see another one," and I thought that I was going to start crying again. Dennis quickly quipped, "I guess it's buy one get one free!"
Apparently we have three sacs but only two of them have a heartbeat. One of those embryo's must've split!
The third sac explains a lot of the bleeding and spotting that I've been having. The continued bleeding, though, still keeps me from being allowed to work out. I guess I'll have time for that later...
We are very happy right now. A cautious, scared, emotional happy.
Oh yeah, we told our parents. Woopsy.
November 21st, 2008: You may have noticed a HUGE jump in dates from the last entry. Y'know the sound of a record screeching to a halt? I wish that I could've inserted that into this post.
The reason for the screeching record noise (let's pretend) is that we went in and found out that there were actually three heart beats. Three! The physician told me that there is a 1% chance of this happening, so she was really surprised. I started to cry when I heard the news. Dennis smiled, and all that I could say as I freaked out was, "I don't have three boobs! They don't make sidewalks big enough for a three baby stroller. We will need to move! Our house is too small. Oh no...and we'll be immediately outnumbered! What if they decide to attack?" And yes, you know me: I am a slightly anal planner. And this is a huge deviation from what I planned. So I lost it. Luckily Dennis apologized to the nurse for my reaction and helped me to stay somewhat together.
A week or two later, we went to see the high-risk doctor who wasn't optimistic about me being pregnant with three babies. The risks to all of the babies was very high if we continued the pregnancy with all of them. Selective reduction was discussed and Dennis and I went home.
Selective reduction is when you basically choose which babies to continue with in an effort to have the most healthy baby(ies) possible. Are you kidding me? Where is this in the book on IVF (if there was such a book)? This was too complicated and too heart breaking to think about. Plus, we're not supposed to have to even discuss something like this. So, as you can imagine, we were emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted as we continued to discuss all options over the next few weeks.
When we went in for another check up with the high-risk specialist, she noticed a lot of fluid accumulating behind the head of one of the identicals. She was extremely concerned about it and said that it is an early sign of a chromosomal or birth defect. I guess this is fairly common with identical twins. The prognosis for the identicals was getting less and less bright.
As you can probably guess, since we are pregnant with one cute baby right now, the identicals didn't make it. God helped us to make a decision that we didn't want to make on our own. A decision we didn't know how to make on our own.
The wonderful news is that the third little one looks really healthy. And, isn't that why we started this process in the first place?
So there. That's all of the nonsense. Dennis and I have decided that no more drama is allowed. We are not going to think about the sadness, excitement, and worry that we've already been through. No, we aren't. We are just going to focus on being pregnant with a happy and healthy baby.
We are very excited about this special blessing!