The more things change, the more they stay the same

Dennis, Connor and I went out for a fancy mexican dinner on Saturday night. I should clarify that because we did go to dinner but we went much earlier than normal. As Dennis says, we went to eat at retirement-home dinner time.

Since we now have to schedule all outings around when Connor has to eat - which is every 3 hours - the timing of everyday activities takes on a new twist. For example, I really wanted to see the movie Hangover this past weekend but the only time that would have worked was 10:45AM. Yes, I said AM. And I was actually considering trying to get Dennis to go with me at that time of day. Not sure that we'd do the regular popcorn routine but maybe the movie theatre would have pancakes? Or cereal?

As you know by now, I am not the best person at accepting and dealing with change. Connor has introduced us to more of the evil "c" word than I could have ever imagined. Good change and hard-to-get-used-to-change.

ANYWAY, back to our trip to the mexican restaurant. Dennis and I walked in with Connor and I asked for a table for two-and-a-half people. As we walked to our booth, I noticed all of the people around us. These were people that I had never seen before. They appeared to be normal but I wasn't entirely convinced. They all had kids and sippy cups and other toys or gadgets that I have yet to learn about. Some had kids that were loud and running around, others had quiet ones. Luckily for us, ours did sleep through dinner so we were able to enjoy our soft tacos and margaritas like we were used to. And, most importantly, I was able to get a styrofoam cup for my... um... water... when we left.

MORAL OF THE STORY: I walked into the restaurant fretting about how much things have changed. But walked out of the restaurant - with my to-go cup in hand - realizing that a lot of things are still the same.

Awesome.

This is Connor in 3 months. Once he can hold his head up, this is a no-brainer for him. Duh.

Impatient

As a married couple, you realize that you (unfortunately) have a bigger impact on your spouse - and your spouses' behaviors - than you may like.

My lack of patience has been noted and has been a topic of many conversations in our household. I'm OK with it. It's nothing new to me. JUST HURRY THINGS UP and we'll all be just fine.

So, on Sunday, I asked Dennis what he put in the microwave. He smiled as he looked at me and said, "my margarita". Apparently, he didn't want to wait for the leftovers from Saturday to defrost because he was in a hurry to have his drink.

Ten points for me because it looks like I'm no longer the only patience-challenged person in this house.

Almost 5 weeks

I love reading Dooce. While she needs to work on her political views, she is a great blogger. So, I must disclose that I am a complete poser as I copy her idea of writing letters to her daughter as she grows up. There, I said it. I'm a POSER. Now let's get back to my posering ways as I write another letter to the little man who stole my heart...

Connor,

These last few weeks have not been without great change.

To being with, your "squeaks" have almost been completely replaced by other forms of baby babble, your smiles are much more frequent and your parents are feeling a little bit more confident about what to do (or what not to do). You've become a pro at breastfeeding, and can now focus on objects and follow them as they move from one side to the other. One of the most fun things that you've done is that you have almost perfected the art of reaching out and grabbing onto the animals and toys that are hanging from your activity mat. "Tummy time" is required since you are constantly trying to strengthen your neck and back muscles. I'd like to say you are no longer a bobble-head... but I can't say that quite yet. But you are getting there. You can hold your neck up very well when you want to.

Connor, you've been out on the town, too! We took you to J. Christophers for breakfast and learned how to get your infant car seat situated at the table. When we were walking in to the restaurant, Dennis and I were discussing whether we put your car seat on the table or in a chair next to us. We were amazed when the waitress showed us that the highchair that they had actually FLIPS OVER to accomodate an infant car seat. Who would've ever imagined such a thing?

On July 4th, we went to watch your dad run the largest 10K in the world - The Peachtree Road Race. I should qualify that last statement in that we didn't really watch him run so much as we waited for him at the end of the race in Piedmont Park. I was excited to take you there because not only were we going to see your dad, but the people watching is phenomenal at this event. My camera was ready because with 55,000 participants, you are bound to see some funny attire or interesting costumes in the spirit of the 4th of July. I did see those people, but for some reason, the only people watching that I did was of one person: you. I couldn't take my eyes off of the sweet little man in front of me in the stroller.

Last but not least, your dad and I are convinced that you are VERY advanced for your age. Just look at your parents, and, I mean, who would expect anything less? You'll easily be running the Peachtree Road Race next year.

I love you.

Love,

Mom

Officially Baby-tized

Connor has officially taken over.

How do I know this? Well, to start, my definition of "nap time" has completely changed.

PREVIOUS NAP TIME DEFINITON: Getting into bed mid-afternoon with Dennis next to me (don't let him fool you...he is a nap-lover just like I am!).

CURRENT NAP TIME DEFINITION: Taking advantage of any free (and quiet) minute that I have. And, apparently Echo and Connor prefer to use me a a pillow.

Here is the other way that I know:

It's no secret that I am, well, uh...pretty anal... and so it shouldn't surprise you that I keep a log of when Connor eats and when he goes pee and/or poop. Dennis was changing his diaper (Connor's diaper, not to be confused with Dennis' diaper) and I asked him what presents he left for us so that I could update the log appropriately (no pun intended). It was obvious that he had not pooped so Dennis decided to find out if he wet his diaper instead. The scientific method that Dennis used was really the only one that makes sense: he stuck his fingers in the front part of the diaper.

I laughed at him. Not because he used this method but because I've done the same thing. Several times. Hey, it's important to make sure that the log is accurate. And you can always wash your hands.

When I Least Expected It

It started last week when I was feeding Connor and watching Oprah. And then it continued while I was talking with a co-worker on the phone. I didn't expect it and no one warned me that it would sneak up on me like it did. But, it happened and I am still here to talk about it, so I guess that is what really matters.

Oprah was interviewing several mothers on her show. They were talking about how easy it is to get so overwhelmed with normal, everyday life. And how easy it is to be so preoccupied that small things often get overlooked. Unfortunately, the small things that were being overlooked were this lady's children. She accidentally left her daughter in the car - for 8 hours - and she died because of the heat.

Then, when I was talking with my friend and co-worker last week, I realized that life goes on at work without me. I know it's a total shocker - and believe me, I was more surprised tha anyone when this thought entered my mind. She was talking about the things that are taking place right now with work and I had the realization that our conversation sounded just like one that I had with her 6 weeks ago ... and one that I had with her 6 monthis prior to that. I now see that work is important, but not nearly as important as I previously thought. It's not worth stressing about and spending time away from Dennis (or Connor) in the evenings to do computer work. It'll be there tomorrow. And the next day. And it's not like I won't get it done.

Connor has undoubtedly helped me to realize my unimportance at work. I absolutely love spending so much time with him right now. And, you may want to sit down for what I'm about to say next because I wouldn't have believed it if someone told me this prior to Connor's arrival. While I don't enjoy the actual waking up in the middle of the night to feed him, once I see his sweet face, it's suddenly OK that I'm up at 2am, 3am, or whatever time. It's OK because this is what is important. Dennis has tried to impress this upon me in the past but now it is really sinking in. Work and sleep have moved down on the priority list. Dennis and Connor (and Echo, of course!) are what matter most.

To prove it, these are a few photos that I took BEFORE 8AM last week. Now that is not something that I would've been able to say 4 weeks ago.

Happy 2 Weeks

Connor,

First, I am going to acknowledge that this is one day late. That's pretty good for me these days. Since you made your debut on June 2nd, I am typically one, two, or more days late at returning phone calls, responding to emails, and, well...taking a shower. I'm not complaining, I am just letting you know that my day is filled with loving you, trying to breastfeed you, cuddle you, calm you down when you are upset, changing your diapers (and acting quickly to avoid the inevitable golden shower), and just staring into your beautiful eyes. It doesn't sound like that would take up the majority of the day, but it does. And I love every minute of it. Well, except for the diapers. And I wouldn't mind a few more hours of sleep.

Speaking of sleeping, that is one of my favorite things to do with you. We've gotten into the habit of falling asleep together around 3pm every day. You, me, and Echo. I'll sit up on the couch, prop my feet up on the coffee table, lay you down on my chest and Echo cuddles up behind us. There is a whole bunch of love in that one corner of the couch.

And, you suck. You love the pacifier as do your father and I. It has saved us many times when we weren't quite sure why you were crying. The pacifier is one of your best friends. We've made an expert decision that the reason for your crying is that you probably have gas. And I must say that we've grown accustomed to the very loud, adult-sounding farts that escape your rear end several times a day. I had no idea that such a loud noise could come out of such a sweet and small little boy. Like father, like son, I guess.

Each day means more and more awake time for you. And for me. When your Grandma and Grandpa Lang (or Nana and Papa, as they requested) were in town for your birth, they weren't sure that you had eyeballs because each time that they came to the hospital to see you, you were sleeping. When they see you next, they will be as mesmerized as I am with your beautiful deep blue eyes.

You smile in your sleep and I often pretend that it's because you are thinking about how much fun we have together. But in reality, you probably just passed gas. And I'm OK with that. If you keep smiling, so will I.

Thanks for the most special 15 days of my life. I know it'll only get better and more fun from here.

Lv,

Mom (wow - - it's strange to refer to myself that way)

Redefining Multi-Tasking

A Trip Back in Time

When we came home from the hospital last Friday, we found several photos on our countertop. Dennis' parents had come by earlier in the day and dropped off some pictures of Dennis as a child. It was completely unexpected. And hilarious.

The first one we saw was Dennis' baseball team photo. Dennis had not seen this photo before. His first comment when he saw it was, "who is that kid that's yawning?" and we both laughed. Then we laughed even harder after he reviewed the photo and said, "the kid that is yawning is ME!" I had to hold my abdomen because I was laughing so hard and didn't want to disconnect anything that had been reconnected after my c-section.

We continued to look through the photos and saw this one. It's an adorable photo of Dennis as a baby.

Does Connor look like Dennis or what?!

Labor of Love

Connor is finally here! Dennis and I couldn't be more happy, in love, excited, exhausted, overwhelmed, and stressed. We're mainly the first three but the others follow a close second as we are adapting to life with a beautiful baby boy with HUGE lungs. His smiles are so incredibly sweet and make the screams easily tolerable. And, as you can imagine, we're learning every day...as I know Connor is, too.

Labor didn't like me very much. And to be perfectly honest, I didn't like it very much, either. So, I guess we're even. Here is the quick-and-dirty story: we pulled into the "Labor and Delivery" assigned parking at Northside Hospital Monday night at 7pm. We were ready to start the induction process. The plans were to check in, get settled, and then start with Cervidil Monday night and continue on with Petosin on Tuesday. We were prepared for a long road...but the end was in sight. We were going to get to meet our little boy.

As I mentioned, those were the plans. Oddly enough, they didn't work out. After we pulled into the designated parking area, my contractions began. We checked in and I asked Dennis to help me time the contractions and how far apart they were. After timing a few of them, he pointed out that we probably didn't need to do that since we were already at the hospital. And he was exactly right. So, no more watching the clock and counting seconds. Or so I thought.

Dennis took amazing care of me as my contractions continued to progress. They were occuring too frequently (every 3 minutes) to start the Cervidil. As I watched the clock, knowing what was going to occur every 3 minutes, the contractions continued to get stronger and didn't slow down. I was only dilated only 1 cm but when I got sick (several times) from the pain, the mid-wife that was on-call got me a morphine shot. After a few hours of no progress in the way of dilation or improvement in symptoms, I was then given an epidural. And... OH. MY. GOD. Epidurals are friggin' AWESOME. Within a minute (or possibly less), I was feeling relief.

Jumping ahead a few hours, nurses were being paged to the room that we were in and I heard something about there being "a lot of blood", Connor's heartrate dropping, and I saw Dennis literally shaking in the background. After a few minues, the doctor decided to rush me into an emergency c-section. One of the nurses tossed Dennis a "blue suit" and instructed him to put it on, pack up all of our belongings and follow everyone to the operating room. I received more medication in the operating room and everything from there on out is a bit fuzzy.

The important thing is not that it was a painful process or that I ended up NOT needing to pass something the size of a watermelon through my whooha, but the important thing is that we have this beautiful little man here with us safe and sound.

Seeing Connor for the first time was amazing, overwhleming, and the best feeling in the world.

I am so excited that Connor is here. FINALLY.