Sunday, August 30, 2009

And...I survived.

Against all odds, I managed to make it through this week. I survived going back to work, coordinating Connor and all of his bazillion daily necessities for the nannyshare across the street. I survived even with Dennis being out of town. So, like I said, AGAINST ALL ODDS, I survived. Oh yeah, and so did Connor. Guess that's the most important part. Once you have a child, I have learned, you are no longer the important one. Nope, not even close. You are lucky to take second, third, or even fourth place in the ranking order.

I know you are dying to know the details about how I pulled off this miracilous feat. I must start by saying that it wasn't easy and I called Dennis once (or twice..or...well, ok, let's go with SEVERAL TIMES) crying. I was overwhelmed.

When you become a new mom, there are so many new, important, and challenging parts of your day. I never knew about this. THANKS EVERYBODY FOR NOT TELLING ME THIS! Not only am I a champion diaper changer, a food machine, a cuddler, a swaddler (still working on the Super Swaddler status that only Dennis has achieved so far), and nurse (providing gas drops, dosing vitamins, and giving baths) but I am also a wife, a woman, and an individual. Echo fits in there, too. No matter how busy or stressed I may be, I need to give her attention and daily walk(s), as well. Oh yeah, and she needs to eat, too. She managed to get some spilled breast milk the other day...

And, one other small thing: I have a full-time job. Learning to juggle all of these tasks quickly turns me into a "Jack of all trades". And I don't want to be Jack because even though he can do a lot of things, he doesn't do any of them well. And, as we all know, I'm a slight perfectionist which doesn't bode well with Jack. Jack, meet Mrs. Perfectionist. Mrs. Perfectionist, meet Jack. As you can see, herein lies my dilemma.

The phrase, "I can't", kept creeping into my dialogue this past week and I realized that while I may WANT to do everything perfectly, there is no way that I can actually do it all. Not without killing myself in the process, anyway. So, I had to really think about what I CAN manage and let the rest go. Or "let it go" enough that Jack would be happy. Mr. Compromise joined in on the conversation between Mrs. P and Jack and from there on out, things started to make more sense. I started to realize that there might be hope for me afterall.

SO....short story LONG, I learned a lot last week. The way that I survived the first four days of work was by realizing - and accepting - that I cannot do it all. And I especially cannot do it all perfectly. Enough playing on my blog for now. I need to put my computer down and go over and give Dennis, Connor and Echo a big squeeze...

3 comments:

Stephen said...

Sorry your week was tough, but it will get better or maybe into at least a routine - hang in there, you are doing great! bam

Katie said...

GOOD realization!!!!! You can do this!!!!! I learned, when I went back to work, that I was always the "best" teacher in the school....why, becasue I do things well. I quickly learned that I could be the "best" mommy to Cooper while still being a GREAT teacher, just not the best. Let someone else take that role, go to work, do it well and come home and be the perfect mama I know you are! Even your 75% at work is surely better than most people's 100%! HUGS!!!!

Emmy said...

Nobody tells you because there really is no preperation for it :). It's an experience you figure out on your own as you go along. I will give you one piece of advice and that is to try your best to not get caught up in comparing Connor to other kids his age. They all do different things and they all reach milestones at different times. In the end it makes no difference if little Bobby walks,talks,and gets teeth before little Susie :).

FYI- Sorry for the long comment but if you are interested in keeping up with the Stahls, our new blog site is www.stahlworld.blogspot.com Sorry for the pain in the ass inconvenience.