It's weird. When I am walking along, minding my own business, I often hear a voice over-- the best that I can describe it is that it's like Grey's Anatomy when Dr. Grey sums up the entire show at the end of the episode. I'm not kidding - and I'm not crazy (atleast that is what the voice says). It's just this voice that helps me to see things from a more broad perspective. I know, I know, on one had you want an example of what this voice says and on the other hand you are wondering what type of medications I need, or if I should increase the dose of my current meds, etc. Well, I'll give you an example and we'll go from there.
Today I had this "voice over" of how everyone has their thing. The reason for this topic is quite possibly because I was fretting about my current (almost) non-pregnant state (more on that later) and how I really want to know that somewhere, somehow, someone is keeping score. I want to know that while other peoples lives may seem perfect, that they are probably dealing with challenges, too. It makes me feel better to know Dennis and I are not the only ones with a thing. I feel more prepared and capable of dealing with it if others have had to deal with similarly challenging situations and succeeded. If they can do it, we can do it.
While at lunch today with one of my girlfriends, we were catching up about some of our mutual friends and acquaintances. One of which is a very sweet, out-going, smart girl. I was excited to hear that she is newly engaged but then sad to hear that her future husband's illness is progressing and althought he is dealing with his disease in the best way he knows how, he won't get better. Another one: another friend of mine is dealing with bad boyfriend #189,123. All she wants to do is to find Mr. Right and all she can find is Mr. Right Now. One more: a girlfriend recently had a baby and has seen an entirely new side of her husband since the baby was born - - a side that she doesn't think that she likes. It is definitely fair to say that each of these people have a thing right now. Very different things, but still a thing. We all have a thing at one time or another.
I didn't intend to list only people with things that have to do with men, but that does seem to be the common thread... (you can come to your own conclusion). Seriously, though, everyone has a thing and I think what makes us who we are is if we have the thing or if the thing has us and what we learn along the way. Am I a pregnancy-challenged woman or a woman with pregnancy challenges? The difference is ownership. Who owns who. For the last year, I hate to say that pregnancy-challenged has owned me. It has, and I need to focus on owning it. Not the other way around. We all deal with problems and that's the game of life. I just always like to win (and to not be forced to wait to win). This life lesson on patience and faith is going to help me now and later in life. I just wish we could we hurry up the whole process.
Plus, one part of my life that I would never trade for anything is Dennis. I have many positives in my life (besides being positively hilarious) and that should count for something. For a lot of somethings.
So, I need to own it. That's the lesson of the day. At least, that is what the voice says.