Happy Friday.

This makes me think of how well my sister and I behaved (and still behave) together. It's an I-love-you-but-your-pain-is-hilarious clip.

Is it weird that Kelly and I would always say, "Dad and Mom are the King and Queen, I am the princess and you are bag of poop" to each other? Or maybe the weird part is that it would really hurt our feelings when we weren't the princess and were, instead, a bag of poop?

Whenever Kelly was trying to apologize for something, she would switch it around so that she was the bag of poop and I was the princess. We would make up immediately when I regained my proper title.

I mean...SERIOUSLY

Ok, let's get one thing straight. Universal healthcare is nothing short of a universal nightmare. Yes, it sounds good, but in actuality, it is really, really, really bad.

It is a total shocker that I'm not going to be PC and say it might or it may or it will but rather that it won't. It won't work. Period. The whole idea sucks and let me explain to you why. Here are the top reasons Universal Nightmare Healthcare sucks:

• Access to medical care will not improve, it will actually get worse. Hopefully you will never be told that you have cancer, but if you do, do you really want to be put on a waiting list for SEVERAL MONTHS (or longer) until it is your turn? Please read this article.
  
• It is hardly "free" since we would be paying for it with higher taxes. Plus, oftentimes the copay amounts are 10-40% of the procedure costs. IT'S NOT FREE, PEOPLE! It's actually MORE EXPENSIVE!
  
• Medicines are not more readily available or less expensive. Innovation and new product development would actually be stymied under this type of program. When is the last time you heard about a new, breakthrough technology being developed in Canada? Uh...yeah. That's what I thought.
  
• While I am sure that there are nice people in Washington...somewhere...I do not like them enough to let them make MY medical decisions. Or decisions for my family. Seriously, do you really want the same people running the DMV to be in charge of your healthcare?
  
• While our current healthcare system has room for improvement, it's not nearly as bad as the government suggests.
  
• There are way more reasons NOT to do this than reasons to do it. Want to read an unbiased review of the pros and cons? Be my guest.

If you care about yourself, your family, your friends, AND have at least two brain cells, I am sure that you are in agreement with me on this topic. Just say NO to a universal healthcare disaster.

The alarm goes: Beep, beep, beep

For all of those of you out there that were planning to break into our house, well, you've missed your chance. We had an alarm system installed on Friday afternoon.

Along with our alarm system comes a lot of beeping noises. Echo has a little tendancy (or BIG tendancy) to be slightly (or completely) neurotic about beeping noises. Our house is a lot of fun right now because any time that a door opens, the alarm beeps, and Echo freaks.

So, being the wonderful pet owner that I am, I am trying to figure out what to do to help her to calm down. The first natural step was to google my question.

I thought that I'd share some of the funny responses to this question that I found online.

Here are a few of the best ones (verbatim):

• Sometimes they cannot - not be scared. The only thing that may be able to help him is some anti-anxiety pills from a vet. With the anti-anxiety you have to catch the dog before it starts to storm or it wont work. So if it looks like its going to storm give him a pill or correct dosage given so that it's in his system before hes stressed out. Goodluck. My lab is petrified of the vaccuum, spoons, cups and strollers.
• The condition that is causing this behavior to manifest is genetic, it is a temperament disorder called weak nerves and there is nothing you can do about it. The dog will always be this way. Hope I helped!
• Just be completely calm and he will pick up on it and follow suite.
• My little Yorkie, Delilah, is fearless except for the sound of bubble gum popping. The sound causes her to leave the room and hide.
• If your dog is nervous or barking at the beeping noise from your smoke detector, it might be because he is afraid that the battery life is low and it needs to be replaced.

DUHHH. Why didn't I think of that? Maybe if I chew bubble gum, tell her not to worry because we have batteries in our smoke alarm or show her some cups and spoons she'll be distracted from the beeping noise. Compared to the the stories above, Echo may be more normal than I previously thought...

An Oldie but a Goodie

Inspired by the Olympics and the speed of Yusain Bolt, I felt compelled to look up some of MY past accomplishments. Not only was I a high school track star, but also a kick a$% softball player. And a really good cross county runner, too. An article was published (no kidding) in the Columbia Missourian comparing me to Deon Sanders. The more that I think about that comparison, the more that I realize the similarities between the two of us are endless. Unfortunately I couldn't find that article online - but I do have it framed at home. I swear.

Anyway, this is all that I could really find online. I read it outloud to Dennis and this was his response:

"You played 3rd base? Did you actually throw anyone out?"

"Yes, Dennis I am really good. And fast."

"Maybe in 1996."

Man, I feel old. I guess there is a slight chance that I was a little bit faster TWELVE YEARS AGO.

Two and a Half (creepy?) Men

Does anyone else find the last 5 seconds of this theme song to be creepy? It kind-of ruins the whole thing. I guess that assumes that it is good to begin with...

With the plethora of great TV shows airing these days, Dennis and I have been reduced to watching shows like this. Awesome.

Like a Good Neighbor...

This weekend was so much fun! I learned to cook on Friday night and we went to a wedding on Saturday night in Dahlonega, GA at a winery. I know, going to a wedding isn't always a lot of fun, but this one really was a good time. Laura and Mark, two of our neighbors, had a beautiful and very personal wedding ceremony. Jason, Tina, Danielle, Khan, Trish, Dennis and I all drove to the wedding and spent the entire night laughing, entertaining ourselves, and enjoying the delicious wine (we came home with a case of 'Plentitude'.)

It is very interesting how you make new friends throughout your life and as you go through different phases. There is the high school phase, the college phase, the we-have-a-serious-significant-other phase, the getting married phase, the kid phase, and so many more phases that we have yet to experience. The good friends are the multi-phasers. They are here for the long haul. ANYWAY, the point that I'm trying to make is that we're now in the we-have-great-neighbors phase.

After living in our house almost three years, we have made some amazing friends that live just seconds (literally) away. I know that my co-workers often laugh or roll their eyes when they ask what Dennis and I are doing for the weekend because it almost always goes something like this: "we're doing (insert activity here) with the neighbors..." I don't think that they believe me and may actually think that I'm making it up to avoid doing something with them. (Nahh...I would never do something like that!) They just don't understand that we have a lot of awesome neighbors (including ourselves, of course!) that we really enjoying hanging out with.

(Oh, and BTW, I am going to grow my hair long again so that I don't get any more MLR look-alike comments. Or Webster look-alike comments.)

Where's the beef?

Josh saw my earlier post about how I need to learn to cook and he came up with a great idea. He suggested that Maya could probably teach me a thing or two (she is a Rachel Ray protege) and we could have fun at the same time. So, Maya picked out a recipe that looked fabulous and the planning began. I must admit, though, the rating of an "Intermediate" level of difficulty did make me a nervous. I started to think that she had more faith in me than was warranted.

In any event, Maya sent Josh to the grocery store and I picked up the stuff for a salad, garlic bread, and lots-o wine.

Around 7pm the cooking began. Maya made everything look so easy! I thanked her for bringing the chives and she laughed and said that they were actually parsley leaves, but I was welcome.

Half way through the preparations, Maya started rummaging through the grocery bags. "Where's the beef? Josh, you bought beef, right?"

"Yes, I mean, I thought that I did. Going to Publix right now." He was out the door and back within a few minutes and the festivities in the kitchen continued, uninterrupted.

Judging by the small amount of food that was left over, I think that it is fair to say that our cooking adventure was a success! I enjoyed it and I don't typically like Italian food!

Dennis was very impressed that the delicious food came out of the kitchen in our house. Now that I know how to cook (this recipe), Dennis is in store for a lot of Beef & Cheese Manicotti nights.

Maya - thanks for the cooking lesson!

Dave, Josh, Justin and Dennis - thanks for being the guinea pigs!

Cake & Icing Take on a New Meaning...

Please check out this link.

In honor of stupid people everywhere, let's have some cake and LOTS of icing. For some reason, Travis Tritt's song, Here is your sign, comes to mind...

Katie, thanks for sharing.

Pillow Case Bleach

The mystery of the seemingly self-bleaching pillow case has finally been solved.

I have been telling Dennis that his face leaks bleach because that is the only reasonable explaination for why his pillow case gets these weird bleach spots on it when my pillow case stays the same color. I wash them at the same time and I am not secretly bleaching his pillow case and leaving mine alone. It's a mysterious phenomenon. Well, now it's just a phenomenon. No more mystery.

Today Dennis mentioned that he has been drooling in his sleep a lot lately. When he said that, it was one of those moments where time just stands still. He looked at me and our eyes locked as we both had the same exact thought at the exact same time: his face isn't leaking bleach after all - - his saliva must have bleach in it!

After googling 'drool in sleep', I learned that drooling in your sleep is a disorder. Yes, it's a disorder. This is serious. While I read that medications are available for this ailment, it is often remedied by changing your sleep position or being sure to brush and gargle before bed.

Ah...now we're getting somewhere.

Look-alike or not look-alike?

I don't know if it's just the excitement that everyone seems to have for the Olympics or the excitement caused by the amazing things that those Olympic gymnasts can do with their bodies, but I have had NO LESS than 10 different people tell me that I look like Mary Lou Retton. I am not sure if it's a compliment or not.

I guess I need to stop doing a cartwheel and back flip every time I enter a room to clear up the confusion.